Sex, Lies and Betrayal
by Chloe Llewellyn
Summary: The Sequal to Two's a Crowd, Three's a Problem CONTAINS ADULT MATERIAL. Also includes the lyrics to a Rolf Harris song. I don't own this or Red Dwarf
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 

Kriss opened her eyes; she rolled over and saw Dave and Chloë. Chloë was sitting on Dave's lap facing him and Dave was singing to her.

"Twinkle, twinkle little star" this was Chloë's favourite, and Dave carried on "how I wonder what you are" Dave looked up from Chloë's smiling face to Kriss' smiling face. It was like looking at the same person, only Kristine was 28 years older than Chloë.

"Morning baby" Kriss said to Dave "Morning precious" Kriss said to Chloë. Chloë smiled and giggled at her mum.

Chloë was six months old now; Kriss was enjoying her so much more. She was a very happy baby and Kriss loved every giggle, every smile, every moment with her daughter.

They had finished their sentences in the Brig and been set free. Kriss, Dave, Cat, Kryten and Arnold had stolen a Starbug and whooshed into space. Now it was just the six of them in Starbug.

This was the perfect arrangement for Kriss and Arnold, it meant that Arnold could see Chloë and have time with her, but also Kriss could be with her daughter whenever she wanted. At the moment Kriss was happiest when she had Chloë in her arms.

"She's so much better now," Kriss, told Dave "every time she smiles I know how much I love her"

"What do you mean 'she's so much better now?'" Dave asked

"I'm getting so much more out of her now" Kriss told him "I mean, I loved the baby stage, but when she smiles at me it's so rewarding."

Dave agreed

"Isn't she spending today with Rimmer?" he asked her "you better get her ready"

"She needs a feed first" Kriss told him. By this time Dave was used to his girlfriend get her breast out and letting her baby suck on it for ten minutes before putting it away and getting the other one out for exactly the same purpose. To begin with he was like, constant wood, but now it was just part of the day. After the feed Dave got Chloë dressed while Kriss showered and made herself look beautiful.

Kriss picked up Chloë and balanced her on her hip. Dave picked up the nappy bag and all three of them made their way down to the kitchen. Kryten was waiting with their breakfast ready for them, six rasher s of bacon for Dave, with Vindaloo sauce poured on the top and four for Kriss, just as it comes.

Arnold came in and took Chloë from Kriss.

"Morning my darling" Arnold said to Chloë "Daddy's missed you" he gave her a kiss.

"Morning Arnold" Kriss sounded so spiteful

"Morning Kriss" Arnold replied in the same horrible way "What time's her next feed?"

Kriss looked at her watch "One o'clock" she told him

"Okay I'll have her back for lunch" he promised. With this he went to leave

"Wait!" Kriss shouted, "Let me say goodbye first"

"Sorry" he apologised

"Bye Chloë" Kriss gave her a kiss "mummy loves you very much" Chloë giggled and Arnold left with her. Dave saw Kriss shed a tear; she always did this when Arnold took Chloë. Dave hated seeing her like this but what could he do? Arnold was always going to be there, he was always going to be Chloë's natural father.

Once Chloë had been gone half an hour Kriss calmed down.

"Dave" she asked, "fancy some sex?"

"I'm not going to say no" Dave replied. They jumped up and ran to their quarters. After sex Dave asked a question.

"When can we have a baby?"

Kriss was shocked "not just yet" she told him "I'll tell you when I'm ready"

"Okay" Dave told her "I'm ready when you are" this made Kriss smile. Her breasts felt full, it was feed time, and Chloë would be back soon.

Arnold didn't bring Chloë back at one o'clock like he'd agreed. Arnold still wasn't back at 1.30. Kriss was screaming, her breasts were full and painful and Chloë, in her eyes, was gone forever.

"Please go find her," she pleaded with Dave "I need my baby, I need her here!" Kriss was getting hysterical "she'll be hungry, she'll be crying"

At that very minute Arnold came into the room and handed Chloë over to Kriss.

"I'm so sorry" he said, "I lost track of the time"

Kriss put Chloë to her breast and watched her feed. The whole room was silent for ten minutes.

"Dave, can you wind her please?" she finally asked

"I'll do…" Arnold started

"No" she shouted at Arnold, she turned to Dave "can you go wind her in our quarters?" she asked him "I need a word with Arnold. Dave did as he was told, they were alone.

"Kriss I…" Arnold tried to tell her

"Don't try and wiggle your way out of this," she told him "what did you think you were doing?"

"I lost track of time" he told her, he was of course lying.

"Really?" Kriss asked him "we'll you obviously had the wrong baby because you could set your watch by our daughter and her feed times" she was getting really angry "but, hold on, Chloë's the only baby on this ship, so you're LYING TO ME!" she screamed.

"Alright, alright" he confessed, "I didn't want to bring her back, I wanted to have her all day to myself."

"You selfish bastard" Kriss yelled "and what were you planning on feeding her? She's only drinking breast milk. Were you just praying she'd forget about her stomach because she was having so much fun with her daddy?"

"I didn't think…"

"No Arnold that's the problem, you don't think" she was so angry "you don't think about anyone but yourself. I could forgive you for putting my full breasts through all that pain, I can even forgive you for getting me into that state, sick with worry, but I can't forgive you for depriving our daughter from her food" she went to leave the room "and don't think you're having her for the afternoon" she yelled at him and slammed the door behind her.

Kriss went straight up to Dave and took Chloë from him. She put Chloë to her other breast, which was now so full and painful that it was leaking.

"What did he say?" Dave asked her

"He lied to me" she said, "he told me that he had lost track of time"

"But Chloë wouldn't let him do that" he told her "she'd scream at him"

"That's what I told him" Kriss agreed, "That's when I knew he was lying"

"What did he say after that?" Dave asked

"He told me that he wanted to keep Chloë to himself for the whole day, selfish bastard"

"But…" Dave started "what about her feeds?"

"Exactly" Kriss answered, "He thought she'd forget"

"She's six months old" Dave exclaimed "all she thinks about is food, sleep and mummy" Kriss smiled at him, by this time Chloë had finished feeding

"Can you burp her for me?" Kriss asked

"Sure" Dave answered, "what are you going to do about Rimmer?"

"To be honest" she said "the way I'm feeling at the moment, I don't want him to have anything to do with her" Kriss started to cry "you do more for her than he does! Can I have her?" Dave handed Chloë to Kriss. She hugged her so tight "I love you, Chloë" she said "I wont let daddy hurt you anymore" Kriss kissed Chloë's forehead and gave her back to Dave "you go to uncle Dave, my lovely"

Kriss curled up on her bed and wept. Dave didn't really know what to do. Chloë looked very sleepy so he decided to put her down. She didn't make a sound. She fell straight to sleep.

"Come give me a hug" Dave told Kriss. She fell straight into his arms.

"I was just so worried" Kriss wailed, "She could have been anywhere"

"Come on darling!" Dave comforted her "she's here, she's safe, she's yours"

"I don't want Rimmer anywhere near Chloë on his own, he can see her like Cat and Kryten do but that's it, nothing else, to me, you're her father"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 

Kriss lay awake, thinking. It was one o'clock in the morning and Chloë was crying. Kriss would have normally gone to get her but she was trying to cut out this feed. Kriss was thinking about a conversation she had with Dave long before. They had talked about old relationships. The particular relationship that Kriss was thinking about was Dave's relationship with Lisa Yates. It wasn't the actual relationship that interested her; it was what Dave had done with his memories of her. He had transferred these memories into Arnold's mind. If Dave could do it with Lisa Yates then Kriss could do it with Chloë. Holly was planning to update the hologram discs. She'd do it then. By this time Chloë had given up and decided to go back to sleep. Kriss had the same idea.

Kriss woke again at five o'clock. She didn't want to stop this feed as well. She fed her and cuddled her.

"Mummy does love you," she told her "Mummy's going to fix it all, Uncle Dave will be your new Daddy"

Two weeks passed and Holly decided to update the Hologram discs, Kriss saw her chance. She downloaded Dave's memory of the last year onto a disc and she did the same with Arnold's before swapping these memories into each other's brains and deleting their own memories. It was all very complicated. Now in Dave's head Chloë was his child and in Arnold's head he had noting to do with her. It was perfect; it was just how she wanted it.

Kriss went back to Chloë's cot and stroked her cheek, she looked so innocent, no one would ever have known that Chloë was part of Arnold, in fact no one would ever have know she was part of anyone except Kriss.

Kriss woke the next morning and saw Dave with Chloë. He was talking to her

"Daddy loves you very much," he told her. This made Kriss smile, everything had gone to plan and both Chloë and Dave were happy and that was all she cared about. She knew she had done the right thing

Dave got Chloë dressed before Kriss fed her.

"I'll take her to the mid section with me shall I?" Dave asked

"Sure" she replied, she had played about with Cat and Kryten's memory to so they wouldn't suspect a thing. Kriss showered and got herself dressed. She was so happy.

When she got downstairs to the mid section, a different situation was there to greet her. Arnold and Dave weren't fighting over Chloë, and Kryten wasn't trying to break up the fight. Instead Chloë was sitting on Dave's lap while he ate, Arnold was helping Cat fly Starbug and Kryten was getting Kriss' breakfast for her. Perfection.

Three months passed and no one suspected a thing. Kriss knew that everything was going to be okay. Chloë had started to crawl and was giggling more everyday.

"She'll need her own quarters soon" Kryten told Kriss "give you and Mr. Lister some time alone" Dave agreed

"You are not giving her those quarters by the pipes" she told them "she can have the one's next-door to us with the adjoining doors."

Dave thought this was a good idea

"That way" he told them "we can shut her away when she's asleep and have some time to ourselves, brutal."

"You'll need to paint it for her" Kriss told them "she's not moving into it in that state"

"I'll take care of it" Dave assured Kriss "you won't recognise the place"

It took Dave three months to get Chloë's room ready. It wasn't as bad as it sounds though; it was six weeks before they found an abandoned ship with enough pots of pink paint on it. It took Dave another six weeks to paint it and get it ready for Chloë to move in; by this time it was Chloë's first birthday. She was doing lots of new things! She had started to pull herself up and walk around the furniture two months ago and now she was attempting to walk alone. She enjoyed sitting in her highchair and feeding herself rusks and biscuits. She could call 'Mummy', 'Daddy' and 'Cat' but 'Kryten' and 'Arnold' were still a bit difficult.

Kriss couldn't wait to get Chloë into her own room. She was feeling rather broody and when Kristine Kochanski was broody beware. She'd have Dave in the bedroom until his knob fell off if she could. She'd have to tell him first though.

"Dave" she asked him "can we have another baby?"

Dave grinned; he got up went over to her and gave her a big hug and kiss.

"Of course we can," he told her "of course we can!"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 

Kriss came straight off her pill but it took three months before she actually became pregnant, when it did finally happen, she couldn't believe at and took three tests. They all came back positive and Kriss was overjoyed. She went straight to Dave.

"Dave, I'm pregnant," she blurted out

"YES!" screamed Dave a the top of his lungs "fan-smegging-tastic" Kriss smiled "how long?"

"Six weeks I think" she told him "but that's all so we mustn't tell anyone just yet!"

"Can we start choosing names?" he asked her

"Sure" she agreed "what were you thinking of?"

"For a boy, Jim-Bexley"

"Jim-Bexley?" Kriss ran it over in her head "Jim-Bexley, I like it"

"Great"

"What about a girl?"

"Hum" Dave though about this one "Aimée" he finally said "Aimée or Ashleigh" Kriss nodded in agreement

"But" Kriss said suddenly "if we've got two girls names to choose from, we need two boys names too"

"True" Dave agreed

"What about Llewey?" this had always been Kriss' favourite boys name.

"Llewey it is" Dave agreed "so to sum up, if it's a boy Jim-Bexley or Llewey and it it's a girl Aimée or Ashleigh" Kriss nodded and smiled.

Again the remaining six weeks flew past, Kriss was now three months pregnant, they all congratulated Kriss and Dave when they were told and life went on as normal on Starbug.

Kriss made an appointment with Kryten for her first scan, it was in five minutes. Dave had stolen all the pregnancy stuff off of Red Dwarf's medi bay and put it in theirs.

Kriss laid down on the bed while Kryten emptied the contents of a tube of jelly onto her stomach, he then turned on the machine and pressed where he had just put the jelly, a black and white image flickered onto the screen.

"That doesn't look like Chloë did" Kriss sounded worried "what's wrong?"

Kryten looked at the screen and smiled "it's twins" he said softly

"Twins?" Kriss and Dave said in unison

"Are you saying I'm going to have _two_ more children?" Kriss asked

"Yes" Kryten responded, "they're identical too!"

"Boys or girls?" Dave asked, this was the first time his lips had met since the news.

"Boys" Kryten told them "identical twin boys"

Dave couldn't hide the excitement in his face

"I'm going to have two wonderful boys!" he yelled to everyone in the mid section after the scan.

"Two?" Asked Arnold

"Twinnies!" Dave sang, "Two little boys had two little toys, each had a wooden horse"

"I'll give you a wooden horse" Kriss told Dave "calm down or go and sing it somewhere else, stop annoying me"

Dave skipped off singing the Rolf Harris classic

"He's excited" Arnold told Kriss "so twins eh, got any names yet?"

Kriss nodded "Llewey and Jim-Bexley" Kriss told him "Llewey was my idea, Jim-Bexley was Dave's"

"I guessed that" Arnold laughed, "Are they identical twins?"

"Yeah"

"How do you feel about twins, Kriss?"

"Shall I be honest?" Kriss asked him "I'm bloody petrified, Chloë was bad enough, now I've got to push two full grown elephants out through my virgina, bloody nature" Arnold laughed but wished he hadn't "it's not smegging funny" she walked out and left Arnold wondering what had just happened.

Kriss seemed to get very big very quickly; she decided to spend as much time as possible with Chloë and did her best to warn her that her brother's were on their way. But as Kriss got bigger and bigger she seemed to get used to the idea of having twins. When she reached the sixth month she got really stroppy and snapped at everyone except Chloë. She and Dave fell out every 30 minutes and then made up again, life on Starbug was hell.

Llewey and Jim-Bexley came early, six weeks early. It was a horrible birth, long and painful. Kriss swore then and there that she wasn't having any more and managed to call Dave all the names she could think of and a few more she made up herself. Finally after sixteen hours of pure hell Kristine Kochanski gave birth to Llewey Lister-Kochanski. He was beautiful; he had lovely tanned skin and huge brown eyes. His hair was nearly black and very curly like his Dad. Kriss had enough time to give him a kiss and Dave to cut the cord before Jim-Bexley made an appearance. He was just the same as his brother in every way except a little smaller but they were both fine. Kriss put Llewey straight to her left breast while Dave bonded with Jim-Bexley, fifteen minutes later Kriss put Jim-Bexley to her right breast while Dave bonded with Llewey! Suddenly Kriss started to cry.

"Twins!" she called out "I love them so much but they'll be hard"

"Hey" Dave comforted her "I'm always here with you, you've got nothing to worry about, I love my son's too" Dave was so pleased

"You better be here" Kriss told him "I need you more than ever now"

"They're wonderful, Kriss" he told her "thank you"

Kriss smiled "Can you get Chloë for me?" she asked him "I want her to meet her brothers"

"Sure" Dave told her, he put Llewey down in his cot and came over to give Kriss a kiss "be back soon"

Chloë ran up to her mother

"Mummy, Mummy!" she had come a long way in the last eleven months. She could walk, run and say lots of different words, she mastered Kryten and Arnold. She could say hello to everyone 'hello mummy' 'hello daddy' 'hello Cat' 'hello Arnold'. Everybody loved her and she loved everybody.

Chloë gave Kriss a big hug

"Mummy's missed you very, very much" Kriss told her, Chloë smiled

"Baby" Chloë said "baby, baby"

Dave brought Llewey over to her.

"Chloë" Dave told her "this is Llewey"

"Llewey?" asked Chloë

"Yes" Dave said "your baby brother, Llewey" Llewey started to cry

"Llewey crying!" Chloë sounded as worried as a two year old can

"Don't worry" Kriss told her "that's his way of saying hello"

"Hello Llewey" Chloë smiled and gave him a kiss

"Do you want to see Jim-Bexley now?" Dave asked her. Chloë nodded and Dave put Llewey back in his cot and picked up Jim-Bexley

"Here he is" Dave smiled "this is Jim-Bexley"

"Hello…" Chloë attempted to say Jim-Bexley but failed miserably, Kriss and Dave laughed

"Can I have some time with Chloë on my own please?" Kriss asked

"Sure" Dave told her "I'll sit with the boys".

Kriss spend a whole hour with Chloë, they talked they did drawings and Kriss had a great time.

"I'm going to spend one whole hour a day with Chloë, uninterrupted without the boys" she told Dave when he came in later "and I want you to do the same" Dave agreed a hundred percent with what Kriss was saying. He thought this was a wonderful idea.

Kriss took the boys back to her quarters later that evening, Kriss had also decided to let Chloë take part in the boys' and do as much as she could to 'help' Kriss and Dave.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 

A few weeks later Kriss and Dave were watching Chloë with the boys. Dave looked at Chloë

"Kriss" Dave asked her

"Yes" she answered

"Chloë's got very pale skin hasn't she?" Kriss thought this was strange

"What do you mean?" Kriss asked him

"Well" he stated, "Llewey and Jim-Bexley have a mixture of my skin colour and yours whereas Chloë is very pale

"Chloë just has more of my genes than yours" Kriss hoed that Dave would accept this "you lot are always saying that she's all me

Dave thought about this and then decided to say the next line

"I want a DNA test," he told her

"Why?" she demanded "don't you think Chloë's yours?"

"I don't know" he yelled, "I'm not one hundred percent sure!"

"You think I had an affair!" Kriss was horrified "I'm not letting Chloë take the test!"

"Why not?"

"It's not needed"

"If you're so sure she's mine why won't you let her do the test?"

For the first time in twenty-eight years Navigation Officer Kristine Kochanski was speechless.

"You see" Dave told her "there is no reason" Dave left the room.

Kriss panicked, what in God's name was she going to do? There was no way in hell that the test would come up positive. Kriss hadn't slept with Dave for eighteen months when Chloë was conceived and didn't sleep with him again until Chloë was six weeks old. She'd have to have the test done, come clean and pray that Dave would forget her. It was very risky, but it was her only option.

The time came for Chloë and Dave to have their DNA tested. Kriss was shaking like a leaf. Her and Dave hadn't spoken since they fell out except when Dave spent time with his children and told Kriss when the appointment was. Kriss was running what she was going to say over in her head to perfect it. Finally the results came. Kriss shut her eyes and gritted her teeth. Kryten read out the results: "The DNA test has proven that David Lister is _not_ the biological father of Chloë Kochanski"

Dave broke down "You bitch" he yelled at Kriss "you whoar" he shook his head

"I can explain," she pleaded, but Dave didn't want to know

"Whose child is she?" Kriss shook her head "Tell me" Dave roared

"Rimmer" she screamed, "Rimmer's her father" Dave fell back into his chair "I can explain" Dave didn't let her explain, he just left her there and walked out, she started crying and no one was there to comfort her she felt as lonely as ever.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Kriss sat on the bed feeding Llewey. Dave walked in and looked at Kriss. She smiled at him, her 'I'm sorry' smile shone through her face and onto Dave. He had decided to stay strong and be angry with her whatever happened; there was just one problem, when she smiled like this with tears in her eyes it made his heart melt. Only this particular smile was much more powerful than that. It was so powerful; it had made Dave fall in love with her all over again

"Okay" he said, "you win, I'll let you explain"

Kriss told him all about the memory swapping and how he got the idea for it.

"Why did you do it Kriss?" he asked her

"Arnold put me through hell that day" Kriss told him "I never wanted to go through that again"

"I understand" Dave said

"I wanted him out of Chloë's life as her father, you were so natural with her, almost like she was yours!" Kriss started sobbing "I've ruined it now haven't I?"

"No you haven't" he reassured her "I'm still her, I still love you, Chloë's still her, she still loves your and our boys love you too!"

"Hold on a second" she stopped him "You don't want to leave me?" she was so surprised

"Of course not" he laughed "I understand that you did what you did for the right reasons and to be honest I would've done exactly the same thing" Kriss smiled "there's another thing" he told her "you're Kristine Kochanski, I'm Dave Lister, I'll always love you, things wouldn't be right if I didn't love you!" Kriss leant towards him

"Oh, Dave" she told him "I love you too!"

They kissed and then they made love. Amazing, powerful, wonderful romantic love. Many new feelings were flowing through their body. These were feelings you only experienced if you were making love to your soul mate. When Dave came inside her he screamed out her name at the top of his lungs.

"I love you and I'm sorry," he whispered after the feeling of immense pleasure had passed

"I love you too," she told him.

Dave leant backwards and put his hand under the bed, when he pulled his hand out it was clasped in a fist and there was something in his palm.

"What's that?" Kriss asked him. Dave didn't answer, he just got up off the bed and pulled Kriss so she was standing in front of him

"I've been wanting this since the boys were born," he confessed "I just never had the courage to actually ask you!"

"Ask me what?"

"Kristine Kochanski" Dave took a deep breath "will you marry me?"

"Yes" she giggled, "Yes I will, of course I will"

Kriss and Dave curled up together and fell asleep in each other's arms. Kriss was amazed. Dave was relieved. But both of them were in love and sure that they had found their soul mate.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 

Kriss and Dave decided to tell Arnold the truth about Chloë. He still had their affair in his memory, all Kriss needed to tell Arnold was that it went on a bit longer and that Chloë was the result. She didn't have to explain, all she'd do is tell him what she did, why she did it and ask him if he wanted his memory back. She went to find him.

"Arnold" she called "me and Dave need a word, my quarters five minutes" she didn't even give him time to answer before running off again

"How does she know I'm not busy?" he asked himself, "does she think I've got nothing better to do than what she want?" if she did she would have been right, Arnold decided to admit this to himself and started off down the corridor, and he was glad he did.

"Okay" he asked, "what do you want?"

"Arnold, sit down" Kriss told him; he was worried but did as he was told. "It's Chloë" Kriss carried on "she's not Dave's child"

"What's this got to do with me?" Arnold asked, puzzled

"She's yours mate"

"What?" Arnold was shocked "How?"

"You'll find out if you do what I say," Kriss told him

"Sure" he agreed, "whatever you say!"

"Right" Kriss prepared herself for what was coming next "I changed your memories over, like Dave did with Lisa Yates that time!"

"Why?" Arnold asked "why did you take Chloë away from me?"

"You'll see," she told him "I'll put your memories back and then all your questions will be answered"

"Okay" Arnold agreed "when?"

"When I've fed the boys" Kriss told them "my breasts are full and hurting!"

"One thing" Arnold asked "what about Chloë?"

"I'll tell her" Kriss promised "I'll her you're her Daddy"

"I'm a Daddy" Arnold said to himself "I'm a Daddy"

That night Kriss changed the memories round. There was only one thing to do now, tell Chloë. Kriss wanted to do this alone

"Chloë, darling" Kriss started "guess what?" Chloë looked at her "you're a very lucky girl!"

"Lucky" said Chloë

"Yes" Kriss told her "you've got two daddies!"

"Two daddies" asked Chloë

"Yeah two daddies" Kriss showed her a picture of Arnold "this is Daddy"

"Daddy"

"Yes" Kriss showed her a picture of Dave "and this is Daddy Dave"

"Daddy Dave"

"Yeah"

Chloë pointed to Kriss "Mummy"

"Yeah" Kriss told her "I'm your Mummy and I love you very much"

"Love you Mummy" Chloë told her. Kriss gave Chloë a hug.

Kriss took Chloë out to Dave and Arnold. Chloë walked up to Dave.

"Love you Daddy Dave" she hugged him

"Love you too Chloë" Dave told her, she went over to Arnold

"Love you Daddy" Chloë told him.

Arnold gave her a big hug. "Love you to Chloë" he kissed her and started crying, "Daddy loves you very much!"

"You okay, mate" Dave asked him

"She's so beautiful," Arnold told him "Are you sure she's mine"

They all laughed. Chloë was two now and every day she looked more and more like Kriss. Her eyes were as blue as Kriss' and her hair was growing just like Kriss', dark and thick

"Can I see her for a little while?" Arnold asked Kriss "I want to get to know her properly"

"Sure" she told him "have her all day and overnight if you want"

"Are you sure?" Arnold was surprised

"Yeah" she assured him "I want to make it up to you"

"Thank you!"

"One thing, if you take her off Starbug you need to tell me or Dave

"I will," he promised

Arnold didn't take Chloë off the ship; he didn't want to risk loosing her again, he just did what she asked, before he knew it, it was dinner time

"Chloë" Arnold asked her "would you like to have dinner now?"

"Please Daddy" Chloë asked, "See mummy?"

"Yes" Arnold told her "and you'll see Daddy Dave too"

"Okay" Chloë said "dinner now please, Daddy"

Arnold took Chloë back to the mid section. Kriss had Jim-Bexley on her lap, she had just finished feeding the boys, Dave had Llewey and was sitting next to Kriss.

"Mummy!" Chloë was so pleased to see Kriss again. Kriss handed Jim-Bexley to Cat, who was getting used to holding the boys for them. Kriss crouched down to Chloë's level and opened her arms, Chloë started running towards Kriss, arms out, Chloë ran straight into Kriss and they flung their arms around each other.

"Mummy missed you very much, Chloë" Kriss told her "have you had a good time with Daddy?"

"Yes" Chloë told her. They all sat down for dinner. When they had all finished Kriss stood up

"I'd like to make an announcement" she said, "me and Dave have decided to get engaged" everyone was very happy!

"Congratulations!" Kryten told them. Even Arnold was happy for them. He missed his relationship with Kriss, but he knew they couldn't be together they didn't work. Arnold was just happy that they had lasted long enough to get Chloë.

"Congratulations, Dave" Arnold said, "I mean that"

"Thanks mate" Dave replied, "thanks a lot"

After the meal Dave and Cat took Llewey and Jim-Bexley back to their quarters. Kriss wanted to say goodnight to Chloë so she waited back

"Hey" she called "here's Chloë's nightclothes" Kriss handed Arnold a light pink duffel bag with 'Chloë' sewn onto it.

"Thanks" Arnold answered, "Erm, congratulations, on the engagement I mean"

"Thanks" Kriss answered, "That means a lot"

"Can I have a hug?" Arnold asked "after all we've had sex before, a hug isn't going to surprise anyone" they laughed and hugged.

"Thank you" Arnold sounded really grateful

"Chloë" called Kriss "come say goodnight" Kriss knelt down and gave her daughter a hug "Night darling, love you" Chloë gave Kriss a kiss

"Love you Mummy," she said

"Have a good time with Daddy" Kriss told her. Kriss turned to Arnold "I've written down her bedtime routine, she will ask for milk, only give her one cupful, her cup is in her bag with her blanket, she won't sleep without her blanket and don't let her stay up past seven"

"Okay" Arnold told her

"Come her Chloë, one last hug" she hugged and kissed Chloë one last time "love you, Chloë" she said again

"Love you too Mummy" Arnold walked away holding Chloë's hand, Chloë looked at Kriss and waved. Kriss waved back, there were tears in her eyes. Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder, she turned round, it was Dave, he opened his arms and she fell into them and sobbed.

Kriss cried on Dave's shoulder for twenty minutes she slowly calmed down

"Where are the boys?" she asked

"They're with Cat" he told her "they'll be okay"

"I'm sorry Dave" she told him "I've never been away from her before" Kriss told him "I don't like this, it's horrible"

"I know beautiful" he told her "I'll miss her too" he kissed her forehead "come on the boys will need feeding"


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7 

Another twelve months went by, Chloë turned three, she had so much to say and made everybody smile. The boys stated crawling and got into everything. Arnold had Chloë for two nights a week and Chloë loved it. Dave and Kriss were still together and Cat had become very close to Llewey and Jim-Bexley.

"I'm feeling broody" Kriss told Dave "why don't we have another one?"

Dave was so surprised he choked on his tea

"You sure?" he asked her

"Very," Kriss smiled "I'd like another girl"

"Well," Dave responded, "I can't promise a little girl, but we can have another baby!" Kriss smiled "thank you" she said, "thank you very much"

Kriss and Dave sat at the table and fed the boys

"Kryten" Kriss asked

"Yes ma'am" he answered

"Do you think you could find Chloë and the boys' baby things for me?"

"What for ma'am" the information sank in "are you pregnant"

"Not yet" she answered "but I will be soon"

"How wonderful" said Kryten "I've got a while to find them haven't I?"

"Sure" she said "I'll have them in nine months"

"Hopefully anyway" Dave added

"I could be pregnant now," she told them, "you never know"

"True" he agreed, "I hope you are!"

Kriss nodded "We'll start trying properly tonight though" she told him.

It didn't take long for Kriss to fall pregnant, in fact it happened almost straight away. Kriss asked Kryten to do an early scan.

"Sure ma'am" he answered "Congratulations"

"I hope it's not twins again" she told him "I don't think I could cope"

Kryten set up all the equipment in the medi-bay, when Kriss arrived; she sat down on the bed

"Ma'am, why are you requesting this early scan?" Kryten asked her

"I don't really know" she told him "I just feel like something's going to go wrong and I want this to be perfect"

"Why?" Kryten asked her

"This will probably be my last pregnancy," she told him "I just want it to be perfect"

Everything looked okay with Kriss' baby they didn't know whether it was a boy or a girl though, Kriss wanted a girl, she didn't really mind if they had another boy but in a perfect world she would be carrying a baby girl.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8 

Do you like the name Alicia-May?" Kriss asked Dave "or Lilimay?"

"Alicia-May is nice" Dave said "but Lilimay Lister-Kochanski? Don't think so!

"Yeah, you're right" she agreed, "It's a bit much"

"Too many Ls"

"You like Alicia-May though, yeah?"

"Yeah" Dave thought "what about boys?"

"I don't know" Kriss told him "what do you like?"

"What about Edward?"

"Oh no" Kriss shook her head "that's horrible, I like "Theo"

"That's different" he smiled "I like it"

"So" she smiled at him "Alicia-May or Theo"

"Can we have a backup?" Dave asked her "just in case"

"Sure" she assured him "How about Bethanie?"

"Okay" Dave answered "or Alice"

"Alice Lister-Kochanski" Kriss said to herself "we've got three now"

"What about boys?" Dave asked

"We've got Theo," she told him "what about Simon?"

"Simon's nice" Dave agreed, "I like Simon"

"We need one more" Kriss told him. Suddenly it came to her like a bat out of hell, a lovely name that wasn't as nice as Theo, but almost "Damien" she said out loud

"That's perfect" Dave smiled

"Damien Lister-Kochanski" Dave ran through the three girls names they had chosen and said them aloud

"Alicia-May, Bethanie or Alice"

Kriss ran through the boys names they had chosen

"Theo, Simon or Damien" they both agreed.

It was Arnold's night with Chloë; Kriss packed Chloë's nightclothes, wash bag, blanket and some clothes for the next day into her bag.

"Chloë" Kriss called "Chloë darling" Chloë came skipping round the corner

"Yes Mummy" Chloë smiled

"You're going to stay with daddy tonight" Kriss told her "is that okay?"

"Yes Mummy" she told her "I like seeing Daddy"

"Chloë, come her" Kriss told her "let me give you a hug"

"I love you, Mummy" Chloë said as Kriss hugged her

"I love you too, Chloë" Kriss replied, "I love you very, very much" Kriss felt tears forming in her eyes, she loved it when her kids said this, well she liked it when Chloë told her, Llewey and Jim-Bexley were too young yet.

Kriss hadn't told anyone except Dave and Kryten that she was pregnant, she decided not to until after her three-month scan. The six weeks flew by and the date arrived Kriss was so nervous as she lay on the bed. She had a funny feeling that something was going to go wrong.

Kryten put the jelly on her stomach and pressed the machine on her. A black and white image appeared on the screen.

"That's my baby" Kriss smiled

"Yeah" Dave said, "It's amazing"

"Can you tell whether it's a boy or a girl?"

"Sure" Kryten told them "give me a minute.

Kryten pushed the machine hard onto Kriss' stomach

"That hurt" she yelled

"Sorry ma'am" Kryten looked at the screen closely. "It's a girl"


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Kriss couldn't stop smiling, she was the happiest she had ever been. Chloë was happy, Llewey and Jim-Bexley were happy and now she was having another girl. There was nothing that could make her feel bad, everything was perfect.

"Do you like being a Mum?" Dave asked her

"That's out of the blue, Dave" Kriss answered "why do you ask?"

"Just wondering" Dave smiled "well do you?"

"I love being a Mummy" she told him "it's better than being a Navigation Officer" Dave was surprised by this

"I didn't think you liked it that much" he told her "wow"

"Sometimes I wonder why I went through all that training when my perfect job was right under my nose" she confessed "but then I realised why"

"Why?" Dave asked her "Why waste all that time and money?"

"If I hadn't gone to cadets school, if I hadn't got my two degrees, I wouldn't be here" she smiled "I wouldn't have had an affair with Arnold and had Chloë, I wouldn't have met you and have Llewey and Jim-Bexley and I wouldn't have Alicia-May growing inside of me right now! If I hadn't gone to Cadets school, I wouldn't be me"

"I never thought of that!" Dave told her "I'm glad you did go to cadets school, I'm glad you did get two degrees, I'm glad you did everything"

"Me too" Kriss smiled, went over to him and sat on his lap

"Have I told you today that I loved you, Kriss?" Dave asked

"No" she replied

"Well I do, I don't say it enough, Kristine Kochanski I love you!"

Dave pulled her towards him and they kissed! It was one of those lovely long kisses, one that you don't want to end. They healed onto each other and hugged, they were so in love!

Suddenly something broke the concentration between them, it was a sound that Kriss dreaded, a sound that sent her into severe panic and worry. Chloë was crying!

"That's Chloë!" she shouted, Dave opened the door and Chloë ran in and over to Kriss "What's wrong precious?"

"Daddy shouted at me!" Chloë told her

"Why darling?" Kriss asked. Chloë couldn't breathe she was crying so much "Chloë, Chloë look at me" Chloë did exactly as she was told "calm down, and tell me why Daddy shouted at you"

"I spilt my milk on Daddy's music" she told her "he called me a stupid girl"

"Okay, darling you're not stupid" Kriss reassured her "Dave can you go and get Arnold?"

"Sure" Dave replied

"What music was it, my love?" Kriss asked Chloë "was it Daddy's Hammond Organ music?" Chloë nodded

"I didn't mean to" Chloë told her "it was an accident"

"I know" Kriss told her "but you've got to be careful"

"Are you cross with me Mummy?" Chloë asked, she sounded really worried

"No my darling" Kriss told her "I'm not cross at all"

Dave made his way to Arnold's quarters, he knocked on the door and walked straight in, Arnold was wiping the discs down

"Arnold" Dave said sternly

"Oh look" Arnold said sarcastically "it's the perfect father"

"Do you know where Chloë is?" Dave was angry

"No" Arnold answered, "She ran off"

"Do you care?" Dave couldn't believe what he was hearing "do you care where your daughter is, aren't you worried?"

"Yes, I do care" Arnold told him, still cleaning the milk off his discs "and no I'm not worried, I've got other things to worry about"

"Like what?" Dave asked, "What can possibly be more important than your daughter?"

"She's ruined my discs"

"She's three years old! She didn't mean it, she's with Kriss sobbing her heart out, why would a three year old want to ruin her father's favourite things?" Arnold didn't have a response to this

"Is that all?" Arnold asked "did you come her just to have a go at me or is there something else?"

"Kriss wants to see you"

"Oh great, the perfect end to a really smeggy day!"

Dave shook his head he couldn't believe what he had heard Arnold say it was disgusting, almost like he didn't care about Chloë.

"Why did you shout at Chloë?" Kriss was not pleased

"She threw milk on my Hammond Organ CDs" Arnold replied, "They're the most important thing to me"

"More important than Chloë?" Kriss was getting angry "more important than our daughter?"

Arnold realised what he had said "of course not"

"Okay" Kriss said, "So you tell me why she came to me crying!" Kriss got angrier and angrier "You tell me why she thinks she's stupid, why she thinks you don't like her and why she's sobbing her heart out in there with Dave!"

"She just ran off, I couldn't stop her, I…"

"Hold on" Kriss realised what Arnold had said and was livid "you're telling me that she came all the way from your quarters to my quarters on her own? You let her run off? Did you come looking for her?"

"No"

"Can I ask why?"

"I wanted to clean up my discs"

"So you're telling me that you let a three year old run round a ship five miles long without even telling Holly?"

"I didn't think"

"Too bloody right you didn't think, you never think Arnold, she could have got into a air lock, do you know what an air lock is? There's no air, that's why it's called an air lock. She could have died"

"She's not that stupid"

"She's three"

Arnold started crying, "I'm sorry Kristine" he sobbed "I'm so sorry"

"I can't trust you Arnold," she told him "I can't trust you at all!"

"What are you saying?" he asked

"You can't see her on your own"

"What?"

"I'm sorry Arnold, not until I can trust you again"

"But, Kriss, it wont happen again!"

"How can I be sure?"

"Trust me"

"Do you know what? At the moment I trust Cat more than you"

Arnold was really hurt, Cat, trustworthier than him? Never "Kriss I…"

"Just go Arnold"

"Kriss"

"Go"

Arnold was very upset but he knew it was his fault. "Kriss, can I apologise to Chloë first?"

"Okay" she agreed, "Chloë does need an apology"

Chloë was on the bed with Dave, he was giving her a lovely cuddle, when she saw Arnold she buried her head into Dave's shoulder

"Chloë" Arnold stroked her head "Chloë I'm sorry, I'm sorry I shouted at you, I love you Chloë"

Slowly but surely Chloë's head came out off Dave's shoulder

"I'm sorry I spilt my milk" Chloë told him

"It's okay" he replied

"I want to stay with Daddy Dave" Chloë told him

"We're having a lovely cuddle aren't we?" Dave added

Chloë nodded "I lovely cuddle"

"Okay" Arnold smiled "I'll see you tomorrow"

Kriss couldn't sleep she was still angry with Arnold; Dave was tense and couldn't sleep either.

"Kriss darling, you don't need this" Dave told her

"I know" Kriss agreed, "he always does this, gets me wound up"

"Calm down, angel"

"Sorry"

"It's okay"

"Oh" Kriss seemed surprised "wow"

"What's wrong?"

"She's moving"

"What?"

"Alicia-May is moving"

Dave put his hand on Kriss' stomach and felt her

"Wow" he said, "that's amazing"

Kriss was obviously still thinking about Arnold "he just makes me so angry" she said

"I think Alicia-May is trying to tell us something"

"What?" Kriss was puzzled

"She's saying forget about Rimmer and think about me!"

"I need to think about Chloë as well" she told him

Dave smiled "get some sleep darling"

"I'll try"


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10 

Arnold felt lonely back in his quarters; Kryten had cleared up the mess and dried his discs. Arnold sat on his bed with his head in his hands, as he lifted his head he saw Chloë's bed, the lovely pink duvet that Kryten had made for her just lay there. Arnold grabbed it and buried his head in it, her smell was all around him, he loved Chloë's smell, and it was his favourite smell. Chloë's smell always made him smile.

It was four weeks before Kriss let Arnold have Chloë on his own again. Arnold was so pleased. He had missed having Chloë and Chloë had missed seeing him.

"Will you look after Chloë when I have Alicia-May?" Kriss asked Arnold

"Of course" he told her "would you like me to have Llewey and Jim-Bexley too?"

"No, it's okay, but thanks for the offer"

"Okay, if you need me to have them then let me know

"Okay"

"Who's having them for you?"

"Cat is going to have Llewey and Kryten's going to have Jim-Bexley"

"If you were to have another boy, what would you call him?"

"Theo"

"Oh, that's a lovely name"

"Why do you ask?"

"I always wanted a son"

"Oh, Arnold I'm sorry"

"I love Chloë, she's wonderful, but I'd really like a little boy to go with her, I thought we'd have another one, once Chloë was born I was like 'right the next one's going to be a boy' you've got two now you're so lucky"

"The boys aren't easy"

"Neither was Chloë"

"She was easier than Jim-Bexley is"

"What about Llewey" Arnold asked

"He's just like Chloë was, but Jim-Bexley is harder" Kriss told him

"Look" Arnold began "let me have the boys for you tomorrow, you and Dave can have the whole day together"

Kriss couldn't believe her ears "Are you sure?" she asked him

"Yeah, if I need you I'll come and find you"

Kriss smiled "thank you" she said, "I'll give you them at breakfast tomorrow"

"Chloë" Arnold called "come and say goodbye to Mummy"

"Bye Mummy" Chloë sang as they hugged "I love you"

"I love you too darling" Kriss gave her a kiss.

Kriss went back to her quarters. Dave was sitting on his bed reading an old Zero Gravity Football Magazine; she leant against the doorframe and listened to what Dave was saying.

"Jim-Bexley" he called "Jim-Bexley, come to daddy" Dave showed him a picture in the magazine "this is Jim Bexley Speed, we called you Jim-Bexley because that's his name!"

"Dave" Kriss made him jump "he's eighteen months old, he doesn't understand you"

"Sure he does, don't you mate?"

Jim-Bexley smiled at him

"Jim-Bexley, can Mummy have a hug?" Jim-Bexley went and hugged her, Kriss kissed his hair "Llewey you too" Llewey did the same and Kriss kissed his hair. "Daddy, you too"

Dave gave Kriss the biggest hug ever "I love you Mummy"

"Oh I didn't tell you" Kriss realised "Arnold's offered to have Llewey and Jim-Bexley for us tomorrow"

"Why, that's not like Rimmer" Dave answered

"I know, it's so we can have some time together"

"Oh" Dave seemed cautious

"Are you okay with that?"

"Yeah"

"Good" Kriss smiled "Dave, I love you"

Kriss passed all the things that Arnold would need for Llewey and Jim-Bexley to him

"Are you sure you're okay with this?" Kriss asked him

"Sure" he told her "it'll be nice to have boys for a change"

"Chloë, come give Mummy a kiss" Kriss called to Chloë and kissed her "now you Llewey" she hugged and kissed Llewey "Jim-Bexley" she hugged and kissed him too.

That day went well, so well that they made it a permanent arrangement, once a month Arnold would have Chloë, Llewey and Jim-Bexley all day and overnight so that Kriss and Dave could have some time together.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11 

Two months passed and it was the third time that Arnold had all three of the children, Chloë, Llewey and Jim-Bexley. Kriss was six months pregnant now and she asked Kryten to do the six-month scan but she never made it, instead tragedy struck.

Kriss' waters broke; Dave picked up on it straight away

"Erm, Kriss" he said, "I think your waters have broken"

"They can't have," she said, in denial "I'm only six-months pregnant"

"Kriss we need to get to the medi-bay"

Dave picked her up and carried her to the medi-bay

"You're a little bit early for the scan, sir" Kryten told him

"No" Dave shouted, "The baby is coming"

"But ma'am," Kryten panicked "she's not due for three months"

"We know that you demented droid," Kriss yelled at Kryten "you need to give me an injection to help Alicia-May's lungs develop!"

"Oh yes!" Kryten told her "I'll just get it"

Kryten got the injection and gave it to her

"Dave" Kriss called "what's going to happen" she was very upset

"Don't worry darling," Dave told her "everything will be okay"

Alicia-May Lister-Kochanski was born two hours later, she was very tiny, she only weighed 2lb and Dave could've healed her in the palm of his hand. Kryten put her in an incubator and wired her up to machines to help her breathing, but she was strong and she was a fighter.

Neither of them were aloud to hold her, they could touch her though. Kriss spent most of her time just stroking her head. She expressed her own milk to put through the feeding tubes.

"I'll go tell Arnold and the kids" Dave told Kriss "Chloë will want to meet Alicia-May" Kriss smiled

"Hello Alicia-May" Kriss said, "I'm your Mummy, Daddy's going to get your siblings. You've got one sister, Chloë, she's three, then there's Llewey and Jim-Bexley, they're identical twins, they're eighteen months old. Then there's you Alicia-May, we all love you and want you to get better for us. Alicia-May, please get better, Mummy wants to hold you, Mummy wants to feed you and Mummy wants to give you a cuddle. Please Alicia-May, Mummy loves you!"

Dave ran around the ship

"Holly, where's Rimmer?" Dave asked

"He's in his sleeping quarters, Daddy Dave" Holly joked

"Rimmer, Rimmer" Dave yelled as he went into Arnold's sleeping quarters "it's a girl"

"Oh" Arnold seemed shocked "did the scan go well?"

"No" Dave screamed, "it's a girl, Alicia-May, she's here!"

"What?" Arnold replied "she's not due for three months, is she okay?"

"She will be" Dave said, "she's a Lister, she'll fight"

"Congratulations, mate" Dave told him

"I'm a daddy again" a huge grin appeared on Dave's face "I'm a Daddy!"

Kriss stared at her new baby daughter, she had Kriss' light skin colour and her blue eyes, but she had Dave's black hair and his ears. She was beautiful, Kriss stared at her, the first thing to strike you was her nappy, it was obviously too big! Kriss put her hand through the window in the incubator and stroked her hand. Suddenly Alicia-May grabbed Kristine's index finger with her fist and Kriss started crying

"Please Alicia-May" she wailed "please get better for Mummy, I love you"

"Chloë, Chloë" Dave called "guess what"

"What, Daddy Dave?" Chloë asked

"You've got a new baby sister"

"Sister" Chloë asked, you could see the beaming grin on her face "What's her name?"

"Alicia-May" Dave smiled "would you like to meet her?"

"Yes please" Chloë smiled "what about Llewey and Jim-Bexley?"

"They can come too, but she's a little bit poorly so you can only go in one at a time, me and Mummy wondered if you'd like to go in first"

"She's poorly?" Chloë seemed worried "what's wrong with her?"

"It's okay" Dave reassured her "she'll be fine, she's just a bit small, she needs help breathing, but she'll be okay, I promise!"

"Can I see Mummy first?"

"Of course"

"Mummy, Mummy," Chloë smiled, "are you okay?"

"Yes darling" she answered, "I'm fine"

"How's Alicia-May?"

"Oh" said Kriss "Daddy Dave's told you all about your new sister has he?"

Chloë nodded "Daddy Dave told me that she's poorly"

Kriss nodded "don't worry, she'll get better" Kriss nodded at Dave "would you like to see Alicia-May?"

"Yes please" Chloë was so excited. Dave wheeled Alicia-May's incubator next to Chloë

"Why is she in that?" Chloë asked

"It's just to help her breathe" Kriss told her "it's called an incubator!"

"Incubator?" Chloë asked, "Can we hold her?"

"No" Kriss told her "she can't come out of the incubator"

"Why?"

"She's too small" Kriss smiled "you can touch her though"

"I'd like too!" Chloë told her "I'd like to stroke my sister!"

Kriss opened the window on Alicia-May's incubator and took Chloë's hand "Be gentle" Kriss told her "make sure you are very gentle"

"Will I hurt her?" Chloë was worried "I don't want to hurt her!"

"You won't hurt her" Kriss assured her "if you're gentle she'll be fine"

Chloë put her hand into the incubator and stroked Alicia-May's cheek.

"Hello" she said, "I'm Chloë and I'm your sister!" Chloë looked at Kriss "am I being gentle enough?" Chloë asked her

"Yes darling" Kriss answered

"She's lovely Mummy!" Chloë told her

"I know"

"When will she be aloud to come out of there?" Chloë asked

"In a few weeks" Kriss wiped the tears away from her eyes

"When she comes out, can I hold her?"

"Sure" Kriss told her, wiping even more tears out of her eyes! "But me and Daddy Dave haven't held her yet!"

Two weeks later Alicia-May was still in the incubator, she was getting stronger and stronger but she was still very small. Kriss cried herself to sleep every night, she couldn't believe poor Alicia-May was lying there and there's nothing she could do about it.

Dave wanted to do something too, his only daughter was lying there helpless and he was so smegged off! He heard Kriss crying and wanted to comfort her, he heard Alicia-May crying and wanted to comfort her too! He was torn, between his daughter and his future wife. He decided that right her and right now Kriss came first. Alicia-May was in good hands with Kryten, Kriss needed him now!"

"Come her, precious" Dave held his hands out to Kriss "let me give you a hug" Kriss collapsed in tears onto Dave's shoulder

"What if she doesn't get better?" Kriss sobbed, "what if we loose her?"

"We won't!" Dave reassured her "she's a Lister, Lister's are fighters

"I know" Kriss told him "I'm sorry!"

"Hey" Dave shook her "come on pull yourself together, if Chloë and the boys see you like this what are they going to think?"

"I'm just so worried about my baby!" Kriss started to cry again "she's in there all alone and…"

"She's not alone!" Dave reminded her "Kryten's with her

"True" Kriss answered

"Now, you get to sleep" he ushered her back into bed "we brought you to our bed for a reason, so you could be in your own bed"

"But…"

"No, Alicia-May will be fine, get some sleep darling"

"Okay" Kriss thought about this "she's a Kochanski too you know?" she told Dave "she's got very deep feelings!"

"I know" Dave answered

"I already know she loves me" Kriss smiled "today she put her hand on my finger, and I could feel the love, she loves me very much Dave"

"Of course she does" Dave smiled too "you're her Mummy!"

Alicia-May was in the incubator for two months altogether. When she came out Kriss was so pleased. Finally she could feed her, bathe her, hold her, cuddle her, do everything she took for granted with Chloë and the boys. It was amazing; Kriss couldn't stop crying happy tears. Alicia-May was still tiny and she was still vulnerable but she was out of the incubator and she was alive, that was the most important thing to Kriss and Dave.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12 

Dave wanted to tell the world that Alicia-May was alive and well!

"Rimmer, Cat" he called. They both came running

"What is it buddy?" Cat asked

"It's Alicia-May, she's come home, and she's going to be okay!"

"That's wonderful, mate" Arnold congratulated him "Chloë will be happier now"

"Yeah… Hold up, what's wrong with Chloë?" Dave asked, after all Dave thought of Chloë as his own

"Nothing" Arnold replied, "she's just been worried about her sister"

"Oh" Dave sighed

"I've heard all about it, she's been telling me everything there is to know about Alicia-May" Arnold laughed "she said something the other day that must have come from you, Lister"

"What's that?" Dave enquired

"She said 'she's a Lister, Lister's will fight,'" they all laughed

"That's cute" Dave told him "Chloë's really special, you're so lucky. I hope Alicia-May is as wonderful as Chloë!"

"Thanks" Arnold smiled "Chloë's got Kriss' warm heart, she's nothing like me, thank God, she's exactly like Kriss in every way, she's even got the same sense of humour as Kriss, she makes me laugh all the time!"

Dave smiled "we're really lucky to have them both in our lives! They are truly magnificent people!"

They all agreed

"Hey" Arnold said "we're going to the officer's club to celebrate Alicia-May, we're going tonight ant tomorrow night so both you and Kriss get a chance to come, you can choose between you who comes tonight and who comes tomorrow, we're just letting you know!"

"Thanks" Dave said, "I'll let Kriss know, she'll probably come tonight, but I'm not sure!"

"Well it's up to her mate" Arnold told him

"Yeah" he agreed, "well I better go and be with my fiancée and daughter!"

Dave was so happy he skipped back to Kriss and Alicia-May. Kryten had offered to look after Chloë, Llewey and Jim-Bexley for them so they could have their first proper day with Alicia-May alone.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

"Hey gorgeous" Dave said

"Hey" Kriss answered quietly

"What's up baby?" Dave asked her

"Nothing" Kriss answered

Dave gestured towards Alicia-May, is she okay?"

"She's fine" Kriss told him "I've just finished feeding her"

"Guess what" Dave told her "Arnold's taking us out, to celebrate Alicia-May, one of us tonight, one of us tomorrow night"

"Okay" Kriss told him "you go tonight, I'd like to spend some time with Chloë and Alicia-May!"

So Dave went out with Arnold, Cat and Kryten. Kriss was left on her own with four children,

"So this is what it's like to be a single Mum," she muttered to herself. Kriss asked Chloë to stay with Alicia-May while she bathed the boys.

"If she cries, you come and get me" Kriss told Chloë

"Okay Mummy" Chloë agreed

Kriss bathed Llewey and Jim-Bexley and put them to bed. Luckily then went down straight away which gave Kriss some time with Chloë before they went to bed

"Is Alicia-May going to be okay?" Chloë asked her

"Of course" Kriss told her "Why?"

"I thought she was going away and not coming back" Chloë answered

"Who told you that, Chloë?"

"I heard you crying, you asked Daddy Dave what was going to happen if you lost her"

"I'm sorry I worried you precious" Kriss told Chloë "I was just being silly, she'll be okay"

"You promise?" Chloë asked, "I don't want her to go away"

"I promise"

Chloë smiled at Kriss "Love you mummy," she said, "I love Daddy, Daddy Dave, Alicia-May, Llewey and Jim-Bexley too!"

"I know my love" Kriss told her "it's time you were having a bath"

"I know, Mummy" Chloë agreed "come on Chloë, Kriss said as she picked up Alicia-May from in her cot "let's get you in the bath."

"Can I stay up to see Alicia-May's feed?" Chloë asked after the bath

"No darling" Kriss answered, "Alicia-May's feed is not for an hour and it'll be too late then!"

"Okay Mummy" Chloë smiled. Kriss took her to her bed gave her a hug and said goodnight.

"See you in the morning Mummy" Chloë said

"See you in the morning Chloë" Kriss replied

"Love you" Chloë called

"Love you too Chloë" Kriss called back

Kriss went over to Alicia-May's cot and picked her up, she knew she wasn't supposed to as Alicia-May was asleep but she needed to make up for lost time. Slowly Alicia-May's eyes opened and she stared at Kriss.

"Hello darling" Kriss said, Alicia-May just stared into Kriss' eyes. Kriss laid Alicia-May on her lap and stroked he hand. As before, Alicia-May grabbed Kriss' finger with her fist. This was just what Kriss wanted. This time, however it felt a hundred times better, the grip was stronger and Kriss knew she had many years to come with Alicia-May. She was really happy.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14 

Dave was a little worse for wear when he returned from the officer's club. Kriss was awake; she got up and sat him down on the bed.

"How much have you had?" she asked him "you stink of beer"

"Beer!" Dave shrieked, "That's what I've had"

"I know" Kriss responded, "how much?"

"Three maybe four crates"

"No, David how many cans have _you_ had?"

"Eight cans, _Kristine_, maybe nine!"

Kriss shook her head "I'll go get the bucket!"

Dave was sick three times before he went to bed, Kriss had to clear it all up

"Oh well" she thought to herself as she threw the third bucket of sicky water down the sink "I'm sure he'll be doing the same for me this time tomorrow!"

How wrong she was.

When Dave woke up the next morning his head was throbbing

"Oh, did I get drunk or did I get drunk?" he asked himself and anyone else who'd listen

"You got drunk" Kriss answered bluntly "here" she handed him a freshly brewed mug of tea "drink this"

"Thanks babe"

"Have a good time?"

"Yeah" Dave had a sudden rush of energy "fan-smegging-tastic"

Kriss giggled "good, good"

Dave sipped his tea "You'll have a good time tonight!"

"I really feel like I need it"

"You do need it baby, and you deserve it too!"

Kriss smiled "come on, Kryten will go mad if we're late for breakfast!"

"Do you want me to dress the boys?" Dave asked

"All done" Kriss replied "I thought I'd let you sleep"

"Oh, thanks"

"There's a catch though!"

"What's that?"

"You've got to do if for me tomorrow"

Dave giggled but agreed.

Dave took Llewey and Jim-Bexley by the hand and walked with them down to the mid section. Kriss followed carrying Alicia-May with one arm and took Chloë by the hand with the other.

"Hey look, it's Mr. Invincible" Cat called out as they came in for breakfast. Dave smiled.

"You ready for tonight then Kriss?" Arnold asked

"Oh yes" Kriss answered "but I can't drink too much, Alicia-May is still drinking my milk"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah" Arnold shook his head "we'll see what happens tonight!" he joked.

Kriss was really excited about going out, she'd worked so hard to get her figure back and finally she could show it off, yes it was only to Arnold, Cat and Kryten, but none the less she could show it off. She slipped into her red cocktail dress and black strappy sandals.

"You look lovely" Dave told her "very sexy"

Kriss giggled "thanks" she said, she kissed him

Kriss really enjoyed herself, she drunk alcohol and danced and drunk more alcohol!

"I haven't felt so alive since before Chloë was born!" she told Arnold "I feel great!"

"I'm glad you're having a good time" Arnold smiled at her "let's have a toast" Arnold called everyone over "right, I propose a toast to Alicia-May Lister-Kochanski, may she have many more years to come!"

"ALICIA-MAY LISTER-KOCHANSKI " they said in unison

That was the last thing that Kristine could remember that night.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15 

Kriss opened her eyes but something felt wrong, she could hear snoring, but it didn't sound right, she could see the basic layout of her quarters, but Alicia-May's cot wasn't there! The whole room was wrong, it didn't smell right, and it didn't feel right. Kriss sat up on the bed and rubbed her eyes she turned her head to where Dave should be, she didn't see his black Rastabilly plaits though, instead she saw short, brown hair. It took a while to sink in; she was in Arnold's quarters? She put her hand to her chest, but she couldn't feel her bra or her nightdress, she was naked? She was naked in Arnold's quarters, this definitely wasn't right! Suddenly she hissed in pain, she was sore, she'd had sex? She was naked in Arnold's quarters and she'd had sex. This only meant one thing: Kristine Kochanski had cheated on Dave Lister with Arnold Rimmer!

Kriss didn't wake Arnold up; she got dressed and tiptoed back to her quarters. She was praying that Dave was still asleep. Kriss got to the door to her quarters and listened, she could hear Dave snoring, and everything would be okay for now. She crept into the room, undressed, put her nightdress on and curled up next to Dave

"I'm sorry my love" she whispered to Dave, who was still asleep "I love you!" She rolled over and thought about what she had done and what she was going to do now.

Suddenly Alicia-May started crying. Kriss got up; she'd decided to see if Alicia-May would actually take milk from her. Kriss picked Alicia-May up and sat down on the chair next to the cot. She laid Alicia-May on her lap, pulled down the strap on her nightdress and undid her nursing bra. She put Alicia-May to her breast and waited. Suddenly Alicia-May started sucking, it was a miracle in Kriss' eyes.

Dave woke up and turned over, a wonderful picture met his eyes and he smiled at it.

"Hey" he called to Kriss "you got her feeding" Kriss didn't answer, she just nodded "are you okay?"

"Sure" she tried to sound truthful but failed miserably.

"Did you have a good time last night?"

"Look" Kriss snapped, "I'm trying to feed our baby"

"Kriss" Dave apologised "calm down"

"This is the first time Alicia-May has fed from me and you're ruining it!"

"I'll just sit here and say nothing, shall I?" Dave snapped back

"Dave, I'm sorry" she felt guilty "I'm just tired"

"It's okay" Dave answered

"Can you take Chloë and the boys down to breakfast," Kriss asked, "I'm going back to bed"

"Sure" Dave said "is Chloë going to see Rimmer today?"

Kriss nodded. Dave went to Chloë's room and got her dressed

"Daddy Dave?" Chloë asked "am I going to see Daddy today?"

"Yes" Dave told her "is that okay?"

"Yes, Daddy Dave" Chloë smiled.

Kriss spent the whole day in her quarters; she lived on Llewey and Jim-Bexley's rusks and thought about what she was going to do. She tried to remember what had happened; suddenly after her eleventh cup of coffee and her tenth trip to the ladies it all came flooding back to her. She had slept with Arnold, but that wasn't the worst bit, the worst bit was that she had enjoyed it and wanted it. Arnold's cock was so much bigger than Dave's, that must be why she was so sore, her body had gotten used to Dave, and Arnold had always made her feel so good. Physically Kristine Kochanski and Arnold Rimmer were so compatible. There was more though, Kriss wanted to have Arnold's large cock pulsating inside her, but she also wanted the love that she shared with Dave, they wonderful love making that they took part in together. She was torn, what was she going to do?


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16 

Kriss heard a knock at the door

"Come in" she called

"Hello sexy" a male voice said. It took Kriss a while to take it all in, it wasn't Dave's voice that had made her feel so good. She spun on her heel and there he stood. The man who had made her orgasm countless times last night, it was Arnold Rimmer.

"Well, Mr. Rimmer" Kriss flirted "what are you doing here?"

"I'd like to know why when I went to bed last night there was a beautiful woman with me and when I woke up this morning she was gone" he told her

"I had to feed Alicia-May" Kriss answered "in fact I've got to feed her now, do you mind?"

"I'd love to see those perfectly formed, smooth breasts again!" he told her.

Kriss smiled "I don't regret it" she said out of nowhere

"What" he asked her, although he knew what she was talking about

"Last night" she responded, "I don't regret anything"

"Are you saying you want to do it again?" Arnold's eyes lit up.

"Yes" she confessed "but I don't love you, I'll only be using you for sex!"

"That's okay," he told her "I'll only be using you for sex too!"

"Perfect" she said "one thing"

"What's that?"

"You can't tell Dave, Kryten or Cat"

"Okay" he agreed

"And I'll be sleeping with Dave too"

"Okay" Arnold wasn't really happy with this situation but he decided that the good out weighed the bad

"You better go" Kriss told Arnold "Dave will be back in a minute. I don't want him to know about this, I love him and I don't want him to get hurt"

"Okay" Arnold promised.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17 

Kriss acted like normal when Dave turned up

"Hey baby" Dave called "Kriss?"

"What?" Kriss answered

"Can we start sleeping together again?" He pleaded, "Can we have sex?"

"Sure" Kriss smiled "we'll do it tonight, I promise"

That day went at snails pace for Dave. He kept looking at Kriss in the way a starving man would look at a packet of roasted peanuts, and why? Because he couldn't wait to get the wrapper off and taste the salty goodness!

Kriss asked Arnold to have Chloë, Llewey and Jim-Bexley over night. She dressed in her sexy lingerie and lay on her bed. Dave walked in humming a tune. Suddenly he stopped, he'd seen Kriss lying there, he went over to her and kissed her. She moaned with pleasure

"Take off my clothes" she begged, he did as he was told

"What do you want?" he asked her

"I want your cock" she replied, breathless

"You're going to have to wait," he told her. Suddenly Kriss came to her senses

"Have you got a condom?" she asked

"What?" he replied, "Why do we need one?"

"I don't want to get pregnant again," she told him

"Okay, I'll go get one"

Dave came back about ten minutes later

"Got one" he called

"Great" she responded

"Can we have sex now?"

Kriss giggled "sure"

Dave made himself hard before putting the condom on. To do this he ran his fingers through her hair, caressed her breasts and stroked her pussy. Throughout all of this she was moaning with pleasure. When he was fully erect he put the condom on and lay on top of her.

"This feels weird," he told her "it's been a while since we used a condom, years in fact"

"I know, Dave" she told him "but we're not doing this unprotected. You need to use one!"

Dave forgot about the condom quite quickly and got on with what he was doing.

He kissed her and healed her hand as he entered her. The mixture of pain and pleasure made her gasp. Soon though it felt wonderful. Kriss was on top of the world. This meant so much more than Arnold, he was just a casual partner. He was good but Dave made her feel loved and secure. They were together for two hours before Dave came. He took the condom off and threw it away. They lay together; they didn't have to worry about come stains on the sheet because it was all in the condom. After about fifteen minutes Kriss kissed him and said goodnight.

Kriss didn't go to sleep though, she just lay there and thought about what she was doing. What if she became pregnant again? Suddenly, as if on cue she felt her period start "fan-smegging-tastic" she whispered to herself. There and then Kristine Kochanski made a promise to herself – use condoms, with both of them. However much they pleaded, begged for unprotected sex, don't give it to them. If they respected her at all they would do as she asked.

Kriss carried on sleeping with both Arnold and Dave at the same time they were always protected. It was hard for Kriss to find time for her forbidden liaisons with Arnold Rimmer, but they did find time and made the most of the time they were given.

"Guess what" Holly appeared on his screen

"What" Kriss asked him

"Have a guess!" Holly responded cheekily. They all knew what was coming; Holly did it all the time

"What is it remotely about?" Dave asked him

"No clues, just have a guess" Holly sounded even more cheeky "I knew you wouldn't get it" he giggled "there's a supply ship out there and it's crash landed on a planet"

"What supplies are there?" Kriss asked

"Not sure" Holly responded, "let's take a butchers!"

Holly flew Starbug down to the planet and landed next to the crashed supplies ship

"Extraordinary" Kryten exclaimed

"What?" Kriss asked

"The atmosphere appears to be breathable," Kryten told them

"Fabaroo" Kriss smiled "we'll take the children then, Chloë's been asking to go on what she calls a Space Mission!"

"Yeah" Arnold replied, "She's been asking me too!"

"What have you been telling her?" Kriss asked

"I tell her that when a safe mission comes up, I'll ask you!" Arnold smiled

"Thanks" Kriss replied, also smiling "so do you agree that Chloë should come?"

"Yes I Do"

"What about you Dave?"

"What do you mean?" Dave asked, "Why are you asking me, she's not mine!"

"She's as much yours as mine" Kriss answered "and Arnold's, you're her Daddy Dave! You are involved in her life!"

"Yeah, I suppose so" Dave replied

"There's Llewey, Jim-Bexley and Alicia-May too, they're your children as much as mine, if you don't want them to go, I'll stay here with them!"

"Okay" Dave responded "they can go, but on these terms"

"Go on" Kriss smiled

"We have one child each, Rimmer you have Chloë, Cat, you have Llewey, Kriss, you have Alicia-May and I'll have Jim-Bexley!"

"Okay" they agreed

"Can I tell Chloë?" Arnold asked

"I wanted to" Kriss protested, "Why don't we tell her together"

"Okay then" Arnold agreed, "I'll go get her"

Arnold called Chloë and took her back to where Kriss, Dave, Kryten, Cat, Llewey, Jim-Bexley and Alicia-May were waiting. They were all kitted out ready to go.

"Where are we going, Mummy" Chloë asked

"We're going on a space mission!" Kriss answered

"Wow, really?" Chloë asked

"Yes" Arnold replied

"Thank you, Mummy, thank you Daddy" Chloë's smile was bigger than ever

"See" Kriss said to Dave, "that's why you have kids!"

"Why" Dave asked

"So you can make them happy" Kriss responded "look at her, she looks so pleased, it's great!"

"Yeah" Dave agreed, "I wonder what we'll find"


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18 

They walked across the planet and into the crashed space ship. The planet was rocky underfoot and Jim-Bexley fell over many times. In the end Dave picked him up

"No, Chloë" Arnold told her "you've got to be quiet in here and do as Daddy or Mummy tells you"

"Okay Daddy" Chloë replied

"You promise?"

"I promise"

"Jim-Bexley's not as advanced as Llewey" Dave commented to Kriss "do you think we should worry about him?"

"Nah" Kriss reassured him "Llewey's more sure of himself than Jim-Bexley, Llewey will try anything, Jim-Bexley doesn't have the confidence"

"True"

"It's amazing, our boys, so alike, yet so different

"Yeah"

"Wow" gasped Chloë as they made their way onto the ship. There were toys everywhere, for all ages. To the left was a large old-style Silver Cross pram, a double buggy and a single buggy. Kriss laid Alicia-May into the Silver Cross pram

"Perfect" she said, "I've always wanted one of these"

To the right were packets of clothes, baby clothes, toddler clothes, children's clothes, adult's clothes, everything.

Dave took Jim-Bexley into the next room. This room was five-times bigger than the first room and all Dave could see was brown boxes they were all unmarked. On the wall next to the light switch was an invoice. Dave pulled it off the wall and read it. His eyes widened as he went down the list. In the boxes were condoms, 500,000 packets with three in each packet. Dave couldn't be bothered to do the maths but he realised that it would be a very large number. He ran back to the entrance room and told them what he had found.

"So you're telling me, there are 1,500.000 condoms in that room?" Kriss clarified.

"Yeah" Dave nodded

Kriss grinned "fan-smegging-tastic, what types?"

"All Durex ones, extra-safe, sensation, everything" Dave told her

"Great I've run out of the pill, there wasn't many condoms left and now we've found some, it's great"

"I'm going to explore some more" Dave announced" come on Jim-Bexley"

Dave and Jim-Bexley went back into the condom room and through a door into another room, there was jewellery stacked everywhere. Dave walked over to the diamond rings; he wanted to get Kriss an engagement ring. Suddenly one struck him straight away and he knew it was the one; it was a single white diamond on a platinum band. He looked at the price tag $£5997, it was perfect for Kristine she'd love it. While he was there he decided to look at the wedding rings. He slipped the engagement ring in his pocket and checked on Jim-Bexley. As he turned his head back round he saw them, two platinum and gold bands perfect. Suddenly he heard his name called he picked up the rings and slipped them into his pocket

"I'm coming" he called back "come on Jim-Bexley"

"Oh good, sir you're here" Kryten celebrated "we've got to transfer all this onto Starbug" Dave turned round he saw exactly what he had seen before

"What, everything?" Dave asked

"Yes" Kryten nodded "Miss Kochanski wants everything"

It took them the best part of three days to transfer everything from one ship to the other

"Do you mind if I go out tonight?" Kriss asked Dave once they had taken off

"Nah" Dave replied, "I don't mind"

"You don't mind being here alone with Chloë, Llewey, Jim-Bexley and Alicia-May?" she assured

"I don't mind" Dave smiled.

Later Kriss secretly slipped some condoms into her purse and made her way down to Arnold's quarters. She sneaked into the room and took off her uniform, underneath was some new sexy lingerie she had found on the other ship.

"Hello Mr. Rimmer" she teased, "I'm here, I'm horny, and I need sex!"

"Well, I've never been one to let a lady down" he replied

"Funny" Kriss giggled, "I don't see a lady"

Kriss moved towards him and their lips met, they exchanged tongues and giggled to themselves. Arnold put his had to her back and undid her bra, he pulled it off and threw it on the floor. He buried his head in her breasts and kissed them before moving up and kissing her neck. Arnold moved away and pulled off her knickers, he started pulling of his boxers and made himself hard.

"Have you got one?" Kriss asked, "Have you got a condom?"

"Sure" Arnold felt in his trouser pocket and pulled out his wallet, he opened it up and looked inside

"Extra-safe or sensation?" he asked her

"I'm feeling really horny, sensation"

"Wow"

Arnold put the condom on and entered her straight away; he hadn't had sex in a while so he only lasted thirty minutes, when normally he'd be going for two hours. They both came at exactly the same time, they were happy and they were satisfied.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19 

Kriss went back to her quarters and jumped straight in the shower. She thought about what she had done, she knew it was wrong, but it was so good. She was torn. Then something happened that made her mind up.

She stepped out of the shower and put a towel around herself. She almost fell over Dave as she came into the bedroom to find him down on one knee with a ring in his hand.

"I wanted to do this properly" he told her "Kristine Kochanski, will you marry me?"

"Where did you get that from?" she asked

"From the derelict" he told her "will you marry me?"

At this moment Kriss made her mind up. She would dump Arnold and marry Dave, she was sure that was what she wanted

"Yes" she agreed, "you know I will!"

News travels fast on a transport spacecraft with nine crew, four of which are under five and three of which can't speak. Arnold had a feeling Kriss was going to break their affair off after this, but he wanted one last night with her. He decided to go down to the medi bay and dig out the sexual magnetism virus; she wouldn't be able to resist that.

Arnold was right, the very next evening Kriss came to see him

"I'm sorry Arnold" she said "I can't see you anymore"

"I know, I understand" Arnold licked his finger

"Is that a new top?" she asked

"No it's my uniform" he responded

"It looks really good, it suits you!"

"Thanks" Arnold replied

Suddenly Kriss jumped onto him and ripped his clothes off, he did the same to her and put a condom on before entering her. Every time he felt like the virus was wearing off he sucked his finger some more, which made her want him even more. Arnold made Kriss orgasm countless times, Arnold thought about what he was doing and decided to take off the condom and have sex how it was supposed to be done: hard, fast and unprotected.

"Don't question this," he whispered right into her ear "just accept it!"

Arnold pulled out, took the condom off and threw it across the room

"Arnold, I'll get pregnant" Kriss told him

Arnold went so far into Kriss that she gasped half in pain half in pleasure as it pushed through her virgina and into her womb. This was the first time it had happened and she loved it

"Do you care?" Arnold asked her

"No" she responded, mid orgasm

Arnold carried on having unprotected sex with Kriss for an hour going in and out of her womb. When he came he buried himself even deeper and they both screamed in pleasure. The virus wore off straight away, Kriss didn't say a word she just got up and left, Arnold didn't care, he'd got what he wanted.

"Dave I want another baby " Kriss demanded

"Okay" Dave was shocked "we'll talk about it"

"No now" Kriss told him "get me pregnant now"

"You sure?"

"Yes"

"Okay"

So they did, there were no condoms and for the second time in as many hours Kristine Kochanski was having unprotected sex and she was extremely fertile. Dave's cock didn't go into her womb, it was nowhere near big enough and it took longer for Kriss to reach an orgasm. Sex with Dave lasted about an hour and a half; by the time he came she was probably already pregnant.

"Why do you want another baby?" Dave asked

Kriss knew that he would ask her and had already thought about this "I wanted my last pregnancy to be perfect" she told him "with Alicia-May it was far from perfect, plus, I'd quite like another baby anyway"

"But then we'll have five" Dave protested

"Look" Kriss snapped, "it's done now, you just better hope it doesn't work"

"Kriss, I…" Dave started

"Why did you sleep with me?" she asked

"I…"

"You didn't care about my feelings. You just wanted to satisfy you're urges"

Kriss walked out and ran to the midsection.

"Hello ma'am" Kryten said cheerfully

"Hi" Kriss grunted

"You okay?" he asked

"Do I sound okay?" Kriss snapped

"I wont ask" Kryten mumbled

"Kryten, I'm sorry mate" Kriss smiled at him "it's not your fault"

"What's not my fault?"

"I think I might be pregnant, but Dave just told me he doesn't want it"

"How pregnant?"

"About an hour"

"Don't worry then ma'am, you might not be"

Kriss nodded but she had a feeling that something wonderful was going on inside her. Chloë's full brother or sister was now alive and growing.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20 

Three weeks later Kriss was a week late. She was half pleased and half worried, but she would have to tell Arnold and Dave about this. Suddenly she realised she hadn't actually done a pregnancy test. She'd have to be 100 sure. Maybe all the worrying had made her late. She grabbed five tests from the medi-bay and took them to her quarters. Test one was positive as was test two, three, for and five

"Okay" she admitted to herself after getting the fifth positive result "I'm pregnant"

Kriss couldn't explain what, but something told her that this baby was a little boy, Arnold's little boy.

"Hello my precious" she stroked her tummy as she spoke to it "you're my Theo and you're going to cause a lot of trouble.

Kriss was sure that her baby was conceived on that night because she hadn't had unprotected sex since. She decided to tell Dave first, she thought she'd just come out with it.

"Dave, I'm pregnant" she announced

Dave was so shocked that he dropped his chicken Vindaloo; this made such a noise that it woke Alicia-May up.

"You're pregnant?" Dave asked, "You can't be!"

"Well" Kriss joked "I am a woman, we did have unprotected sex, it can happen£

Dave wasn't laughing, "I don't want this baby" he told her

"What are you saying?" she started crying, "What do you want me to do?"

"It'll just take me a while to come round to the idea"

"I thought you were telling me to have an abortion," Kriss sobbed

"Oh no!" Dave apologised "it'll just take a while, that's all"

"Why don't you want this baby?" Kriss asked

"We've got so many and they're all so young" he told her "I'm just worried we'll miss special moments with the others, I wanted to wait a while"

"Well it's happened now" Kriss snapped "prepare yourself to fatherhood, again"

Kriss knew that the next person to tell was Arnold; she didn't really have a choice. She wanted the baby to be Dave's but she was almost sure he was Arnold's.

"Arnold" she called "can we go somewhere quiet, I need to tell you something"

They went to Arnold's quarters.

"You're pregnant aren't you?" Arnold asked

"Yes" Kriss answered, "I am"

"I knew you were" Arnold smiled "he's mine right?"

"I think so"

"Marvellous"

"I'm not sure though" she confessed

"Why not?" he asked

"After we had sex I went and slept with Dave so he didn't get suspicious, so the baby could be Dave's"

"Oh" Arnold was shocked "okay"

"Please don't tell him" she pleaded

"Of course I wont"

Kriss gave Arnold a hug "thank you" she whispered "that means a lot"


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21 

Three months passed and Kriss needed a scan. She lay down on the bed and undid her jacket. Kryten emptied the contents of a tube onto her stomach and pressed the ultrasound machine onto it. A black and white image appeared on the screen and they heard a strong heartbeat through the speakers on the monitor.

"Wow" Kriss smiled

At that moment, Arnold walked in "oh sorry" he looked at the screen "is that the baby?"

"Yeah" Kriss smiled

"Can I see?" Arnold asked

"Rimmer mate" Dave answered "it's my baby not yours"

"I know Dave, but I'd like to see it"

"Don't be rude, Dave" Kriss told him "of course you can Arnold"

Arnold looked at the screen and thought about this baby, the baby that could be his "Wow" he gasped

"Is it a boy or a girl?" Kriss asked

"It's a boy" Kryten confirmed "congratulations ma'am"

"That's Theo then" Kriss smiled "my baby Theo"

"I'd like to say thank you" Arnold told Kriss at dinner that evening "do you think he's mine?"

"Oh yes" she responded "I'm pretty sure"

"I might have a son!" he said "Theo Rimmer, that sounds lovely"

"Erm, no" Kriss told him "until I know for sure, his name is Theo Lister-Kochanski"

"But you said…"

"I'm not arguing the point" she shouted, "His name will be Theo Lister-Kochanski. End of discussion"

Another six months flew past and Kriss' due date came and went. Kriss' contractions didn't start til a week later when she was reading to Chloë.

"What's wrong Mummy?" Chloë asked as Kriss yelped in pain

"You okay Kriss?" Dave asked

"Yeah" Kriss sounded disappointed "just another twinge"

But she was wrong, ten minutes later Kriss let out another yelp, Dave was in the midsection.

"Mummy what's wrong?" Chloë pleaded

"Don't worry, I'm fine" Kriss insisted but five minutes later her water's broke

"Mummy what's that?" Chloë asked, "What's happened?"

"Theo's coming" Kriss sighed

"When" Chloë shouted

"Now" another contraction hit Kriss it was a lot stronger and made her cry out in pain

"It's okay Mummy" Chloë gave her a hug "I'm here!"

"Chloë listen to me" Kriss looked her eldest daughter in the face "I need you to go at get daddy Dave, you need to be as quick as you can and tell him it's very important"

Chloë left the room to find her stepfather yelling as she went

"Daddy Dave" she shouted "daddy Dave"

"Yes Chloë" Dave smiled

"Mummy's crying, she wants you to come, she said it's important"

Dave ran back to his quarters and heard Kriss scream and cry afterwards

"Alright darling" Dave reassured her

"he's coming" Kriss shouted "I can feel him"

"Okay, well we need to get you to the medi-bay"

"No!" Kriss shouted "there isn't time, I can feel his head between my legs"

Dave lifted up Kriss' nightdress. Nothing could have prepared him for what he saw

"Holy smeg" he gasped

"What's wrong?" Chloë walked over and looked at Theo crowning away "what's that daddy Dave?"

"It's Theo," he told her "go and stand with Mummy"

Chloë did as she was told

"Dave" Kriss shouted "put your hands on his head so he doesn't fall"

"Oh, yes, sorry" Dave snapped back into action

"On the next contraction I'm going to push" she told Dave "gently ease him out, don't pull though"

"What about me, mummy?" Chloë asked

"Just hold my hand darling" Kriss told her.

Kriss' contraction came and she pushed as hard as she could, and five minutes later Theo was born. Dave cut the chord and handed Theo to Kriss. Dave took one look at him and realised there was something wrong

"He's got blonde hair" Dave stated "and blue eyes"

Kriss didn't say a word, she just put Theo to her breast, this stopped him crying as he sucked away

"He's not mine is he?" Dave asked angrily

"Not in front of Chloë please" Kriss said with gritted teeth

"I can't stay here" Dave muttered as he walked out


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

About half an hour later Dave came back to see them

"Chloë darling" Dave called "why don't you go and tell Llewey, Jim-Bexley and Alicia-May about baby Theo"

"Okay Daddy Dave" she gave Theo a kiss and Kriss a hug "I love you Theo" she smiled and walked out of the room.

Dave made sure that Chloë was out of earshot before speaking to Kriss

"Okay" he started "whose baby is he?"

"Arnold's" she told him "but it's not how it looks, I can explain"

"Okay" Dave agreed, "Because I love you so much, I'm going to let you explain"

"Oh" Kriss smiled "I love you too"

"Just tell me," he demanded

"it was the night you gave me my engagement ring" she told him "I went to show Arnold and he had exposed himself to the sexual magnetism virus"

"I'll kill him" Dave announced, "I knew there was a valid reason, I knew you wouldn't intentionally cheat on me"

"You know how effective that is" she pleaded, "You know I can't resist it"

"I know darling" Dave smiled "do you want me to tell him?"

"Yes please"

Dave got angrier and angrier as he marched down to Arnold's quarters

"Hey mate" Arnold chirped "where have you been?"

"Well, mate" Dave told him "I've been with my future wife"

"Oh" Arnold hadn't noticed the anger in Dave's voice "how is Kriss?"

"Tired" Dave answered, "She's just had a baby"

Arnold stopped what he was doing and looked at Dave

"He's here!" Arnold said to himself "what does he look like?"

"He's got blonde hair," Dave told him "that's the problem

"What's wrong with that?" Arnold asked

"He's not my baby" tears were forming in Dave's eyes but he fought them back "he's yours"

"Marvellous" Arnold exclaimed, "I thought he was"

"You drugged yourself to get her into bed "Dave was very angry "Why?"

"I wanted sex and I wanted a baby boy," Arnold told him

"So you used her?" Dave was horrified "she may be the only girl on the ship but she's not a baby machine, she's my fiancée!"

Arnold ignored him "Can I see my son now?"

"You don't care about her at all do you?" Dave asked

"I just want to see my son"

"You'll have to ask Kriss"

"Okay" Arnold was so excited "where is she, Medi-bay?"

"No, our quarters"

"Has she been aloud out already?"

"No that's where Theo was born" Dave couldn't fight back the tears anymore "I delivered him"

"That must have been amazing"

"Yeah" Dave confessed, "it was, it's a shame he isn't mine"

Arnold felt really bad as he walked down to see Kriss and Theo but he was really looking forward to taking that first glance at his first son

"Hello" he said nervously "can I come in?"

"Daddy!" Chloë ran straight to her father "look at my new baby brother, his name is Theo"

"I know" Arnold hugged her "I'll have a look"

"Hello Arnold" Kriss said bluntly "Dave's told you about Theo then?"

"Yeah" Arnold pointed to his son "can I have a hold?"

"Okay" Kriss handed Theo to Arnold "but be careful with him

Arnold looked into his son's eyes

"Well done, Kriss" he congratulated

"What?" she asked

"I hear Lister delivered him" he smiled "poor you, no pain relief, no nothing"

"I'd rather not talk about it" she snapped

"Okay" Arnold replied, "I've got exactly what I wanted now"

"Good for you" Kriss said sarcastically "I smegging haven't!"

"Are you saying you don't want Theo?" Arnold seemed horrified "because if you don't I'll take him"

"No!" Kriss shouted, "of course I want him"

"What's the problem then?"

"You know what the problem is, Arnold" she replied, "I wanted him to be Dave's baby not yours, Dave is heartbroken"

"Oh" Arnold started to think about what he had done "I'm sorry I seduced you Kriss" he smiled "I still love you and want you all to myself"

"Arnold I'm sorry but I don't love you" Kriss told him "there's nothing I can do about it"

"But…" Arnold pleaded, "We've got so much in common"

"The only things we've got in common are Chloë and Theo, nothing else"

"Kriss, I…"

"Did you think I'd come running back when I saw that Theo was yours?"

"Yeah" Arnold confessed, "I did"

"Arnold" Kriss looked deep into his eyes "I love Chloë, I love Llewey, I love Jim-Bexley, I love Alicia-May and I love Theo. I love them all exactly the same, they're all mine and I love them"

"I know" Arnold replied

"But I don't love you" Kriss looked at him apologetically "I love Dave"

"Will you ever love me?" Arnold was looking for a light at the end of the tunnel, but it wasn't there

"Not in the way you want me to" she confessed, "I'm sorry"


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

Once Arnold left, Kriss could look at her new son properly. She stared into his deep blue eyes and fell deeper and deeper in love with him

"I'm so sorry Theo" Kriss' eyes sparkled with teardrops "I do love you and I do want you" she kissed his forehead "you are so beautiful Theo" Kriss wiped the tears from her eyes "just wait until your brothers meet you"

Theo looked at Kriss and she smiled at him. She put her finger into the palm of Theo's hand. One by one each of Theo's tiny fingers closed around Kriss' hand and squeezed it tight. To Kriss this was Theo saying 'I love you' without actually saying it. Once each of her children had done this she knew that they loved her and that she was going to be a good mother.

Dave stood in the doorframe and smiled

"Hello beautiful" he said, "I love you"

Kriss smiled back "I love you too" she told him "what are you going to do?"

"What do you mean?" Dave asked her

"Well" she answered "will you treat Theo like you treat Chloë?"

"Let me give him a cuddle" he requested, "let me give us a chance"

Kriss smiled and handed Theo over. She knew that this was all she could ask of him for now. If he had the same view of Theo as he had of Chloë all those years before she knew they'd be okay!

Dave stared at this beautiful baby boy in front of him. Dave thought about this, he wanted to love Theo like he loved Chloë, but nothing was happening.

"Put your finger in the palm of his hand" Kriss told him "I believe that if he grasps your hand, he loves you"

Dave did as he was told and as expected Theo's tiny fingers grabbed hold of Dave's hand. Theo's grip was so strong that Dave couldn't pull his hand away. Dave felt a blanket of love cover him

"You're right" Dave told her "he loves me and I love him"

"I told you" she smiled

Dave thought about this, he remembered how he felt about Chloë when she was knew and why, he recognised that he felt the same about Theo, which to be honest wasn't much different to how he felt for Llewey, Jim-Bexley and Alicia-May.

"Right now I feel the same about Theo as I did about Chloë" Dave confessed

"What do you mean?" Kriss asked with a smile

"Chloë's part of you, I love Chloë like I love you"

"That's lovely" Kriss smiled

"Theo is also part of you and I'll love Theo like I love you as well!"

"Let's get married" Kriss yelled "let's get married as soon as possible!"

"Kriss who's going to officiate?"

"Kryten" she smiled "Kryten can do it!"

"Kriss, it won't be legal, we wont be officially married"

"I don't care" she giggled, "it'll be symbolic, and when we can make it legal, we will"

"Okay" Dave was so pleased "I'll go and tell Kryten"

"Dave" Kriss called "can you get Arnold for me?"

"Rimmer?" Dave was puzzled "why do you want to see him?"

"I need to tell him about the wedding" she confessed "he'll want to hear it from me"

"Okay" Dave shrugged "if you're sure!"

"Very" Kriss smiled

Arnold came to see Kriss straight away

"Hello" he said nervously "you wanted to see me?"

"Yes" Kriss agreed, "what did Dave say?"

"Just that you wanted to see me" he smiled "you want me back don't you?"

"No, I don't"

"Why?"

"I've told you, I don't love you"

"What do you want to tell me then?"

"Me and Dave" Kriss smiled "we're getting married"

Arnold looked at her; the hurt and disappointment in his eyes shone through and Kriss could see it. Suddenly something hit him and a huge grin emerged on his face

"You can't get married" he scoffed "there's no-one to officiate!"

"We're going to have a symbolic ceremony for now and make it official as soon as we can"

"Oh" Arnold didn't really know what to say to this "fine"

"I'd like you to be there, look after Chloë and Theo for me"

"Okay" he agreed, "I will"


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

The day of the wedding arrived. Kryten officiated; Chloë and Alicia-May were bride's maids. Llewey, Jim-Bexley and Theo were pageboys and Cat was best man. He wasn't a very good best man, but he was best man nonetheless. It was a short service, but it was lovely.

Arnold agreed to have Chloë and Cat and Kryten offered to look after Llewey, Jim-Bexley and Alicia-May between them so that Dave and Kriss could go on honey-moon – to the lower decks of the ship – they took Theo with them because Kriss was still feeding him.

"Where are you going Mummy?" Chloë sobbed

"I'm going on holiday with Daddy Dave" Kriss answered "it's a special holiday"

"Are you coming back?" Chloë managed to say between sobs

"Of course my darling" Kriss started to cry too

"Where am I going to be?"

"You'll stay with Daddy"

"Why is Theo going with you?"

"Because he's still a baby" Kriss smiled and wiped the tears away from her face "you're Mummy's big girl, now be brave for me and Daddy Dave!"

"Okay Mummy" Chloë stopped crying, "I'll be brave"

"Give me a hug my precious" Kriss leant forward and hugged Chloë, as she did she looked at Dave; he could see a mixture of sadness and joy in her eyes. Sadness because she was leaving four of her five children for the longest she'd ever left them before and joy because she was going on her honeymoon.

When Kriss, Dave and Theo got to where they were going Kriss decided to write a letter to her mother. She hadn't sent her anything since her father died five years ago.

Dear Mum

I have some wonderful news for you. First of all I'd like to tell you about your grandchildren, all five of them. First there's Chloë, she's four now. Her father is Arnold Rimmer; I'm not with him anymore. Chloë's lovely, she looks just like I did when I was four. She's very sensitive but extremely loving to everyone, especially her brothers and sister.

Then comes my three year old identical twin boys Llewey and Jim-Bexley, their father is Dave Lister, I'm still with him. Llewey is very cheeky and gets into everything, Jim-Bexley is more nervous but put them together and it's a total nightmare.

Alicia-May comes next. She's very precious, we nearly lost her, she was born three months early and it was touch and go for a while, but she's eighteen months old now and doing really well! Dave is her daddy too!

Then comes three-week-old Theo. He's my baby. He's got bright blonde hair and deep blue eyes, he is Chloë's full brother, his father is Arnold Rimmer.

I have some more wonderful news. I'm married, to Dave Lister (that's Llewey, Jim-Bexley and Alicia-May's father. He's lovely, he loves me so much and has taken Chloë and Theo on as his own.

Don't worry about me, Mum, I'll be fine, I've got five lovely children, a wonderful husband and Kryten, a service mechanoid who does all the house work for me. I hope you and Moose are okay.

I enclose pictures of me, Dave, Arnold and the children (you'll have to ignore the state of me in the early one with Theo, I'd only just given birth) I've written names on the back so you know who's who.

Once again don't worry about me, Mum, I'm very happy!

All my love

Kristine xxxx 


End file.
